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Choosing Your Bridesmaids
Enie, Meanie, Miney, Mo, Catch a Bridesmaid by the Toe
It sounds so easy, choosing who will attend to you at your wedding--that is what bride's maids are for, not just girls who look good in pretty dresses. The problem that many brides have is that they have an abundance of girlfriends who would happily fill the role. The task becomes choosing whom, and how many, to have at your side on the big day. Obviously, you'll have a maid (or matron if she's married) of honor which is usually the bride's sister or best friend. After that, there's really no set rule for how many maids you have.
Originally, the task of the bride's maids, aside from prepping and pruning the bride, was to protect her from being stolen away. Nowadays, that function is seldom necessary and the girls mainly form a support group to help the bride prepare in the months and hours before the ceremony.
Tasks for the girls typically include helping with invitations, favors, and decorations. Often, bride's maids accompany the bride (and often the mothers) to potential event sites and help choose flowers, dresses, and accoutrements. Customarily, the girls help plan the bridal shower and bring the bride out for her final hurrah just before the wedding and help her to look her best the day of. Sometimes, the girls are assigned specific tasks for the day, such as holding the bride's flowers during the ceremony or arranging the bride's train for photos. These tasks vary from wedding to wedding, so what you chose to have your girls attend to is also up to you.
You want to chose maids who will be there for you and helpful to you as well as supporting you emotionally. Friends who are preoccupied with small children at home or who live very far away may find it just as rewarding to simply attend the event. It is often hard to say no to being a maid, so be courteous of your friends' time as well as your own desires. Choosing a friend who is late for everything and forgets things easily will likely have a poor effect on your anxiety on your wedding day, whereas choosing a friend who always thinks of everything will be a wonderful help.
You may be tempted to say, "Well, you're all my friends, I'll have you all!" Typically that would be a mistake. First of all, you want to be sure you have the same number of attendants as your groom so that pairing is easy as they walk down the aisle and your photos are equal. Second, having a huge wedding party racks up the bills very quickly and can lead to more headaches.
That said, everyone's wedding is different and you can do as you choose. If you have an extra large family, perhaps a twelve-person party is right up your alley. And if your best girlfriend moved to LA, keep her in the loop via email and you'll be fine. Just take everything into consideration and remember that it's YOUR day. Don't feel obligated to ask your sister-in-law, even though she hates you, because your mother insists. Surround yourself with friends and family members you love who will put you at ease as you prepare for the first day of the rest of your life.